Woman: “Hello…hey how are you? How’s your family…. ok ah? blah blah blah…oohhh…. where are you staying now?….blah blah blah…ohh… I see I see. So good to hear from you now. Anyway, just wanted to invite you to my wedding. It’s on _ _ at _ _. Do you think you and your family can make it? Can you let me know if you could come and how many pax? great. thanks. by the way, are you still working in the same place? blah blah blah…..blah blah blah blah” at least 5 minutes later (sometimes 15 minutes later). “Ok. I’ll be contacting you to pass you the invitation card when it’s ready k? Take care now. Bye bye.

Man: “Hello. Hey. How are you? I’m fine thanks. I want to book your calendar for Nov 5th for my wedding. It’s at _ _ . Bring your family k? I’ll put you in for 2 pax. Send you the invitation when ready. Thanks. Take care. Bye!” Whole conversation only about 2 minutes (sometimes less)

Not another night of weird dream…! This time, it was about people from my past. Yesterday, it was about the activities I was going to have. Two nights ago, it was about my dad and his situation. What is wrong with me? As far as all these dreams are concern, it has nothing to do with reality. Could my mind be craving for egoic thoughts or my “pain-body” craving to be fed? Is my mind at it again? Is blogging about this feeding my ego? Do you understand what I’m talking…..?

Anyway, gotta go to shop now. Business has been really good. I’m very proud of my staff. They are doing such a good job running the place by themselves. I hardly need to be there anymore. Thank you, Universe!

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Really? Are we awake or asleep? Was this all just a dream?

Went to the dentist today because one of my old fillings chipped off two days ago. While sitting in the dreadful chair, I could feel myself trembling inside. I expected it to be painful. When the doctor put some drilling tool into my mouth, suddenly, I just remembered something I learnt lately and I surrendered. I just stared blankly at the ceiling of the white room and tried to stop my mind from contributing all the fear it has been possessing me since yesterday. I don’t know how many seconds it was before my mind came back to haunt me again.

The whole dental experience wasn’t that bad after all. There were moments when it was uncomfortable but definitely nothing as excruciating as what was played in my mind for the last 24 hours or so. This lesson couldn’t have come in a more appropriate time. Just as I was learning to control my mind, some forces beyond me just pulled all things together to give me this very crucial lesson. I’m thankful.

Two mornings ago, I woke up and murmured something extraordinary. I don’t know if it’s was something I dreamt about or what. Sadly, I didn’t finished the sentence so the message was still unrevealed. I can’t tell you what it was but if I were to find out what the full message was, I will let you know.

It got me thinking, however. Gosh. I need to stop thinking too much. Our mind, if not used properly, can be our greatest enemy. Within a week, I’ve read both of Eckhart Tolle’s books – Power of Now and A New Earth. I started with Power of Now and it took me two and half days to finish it. The concept totally just blew me away. As soon as I was done, I couldn’t resist reading his next book. A New Earth explains even further and with more practical methods for us to use. All I ever needed was already within me. What a revelation! Now… to find out if it’s all true.

I won’t go into the contents of the books. I suggest that you read it.

“The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions.” – Eckhart Tolle

Wow… what a powerful statement! If you really give this statement your attention, you’ll find that it’s very true, isn’t it? Everything is about our ego. Even this blog is ego-related for me (and this is perhaps why I don’t find a need to write lately anymore … sorry folks). Our egoic mind is deceiving.

As I’ve mentioned in my earlier posts, I’m searching for spiritual answers. All books that I’ve read constantly reminded me of this thing called “consciousness” and how one can find it. Could it be I’m reading too much of books from spiritual teachers of the same sort? With so much time on my hand, I should probably branch out from new age and dive more into the older type of spiritual scriptures. Perhaps for comparison purposes? Anthony Robbins taught me to not take other people’s words blindly and to choose what I want to believe.

Now, I am practising “being aware”, “watching the thinker”, “having stillness” and etc from his books. One thing is for sure, I really do find it peaceful to be in silence. Just 2 days of doing all the things above had already made me feel like a different person with interesting experiences. I won’t share with you what the new experiences are because I may be wrong. I will continue to observe and lets see how it goes.

Looks like the only thing I feel like blogging lately is about my wedding. It’s not that I am spending a lot of time preparing, I just don’t want to blog about anything else. Haha.

My so-called DIY wedding project is not so much DIY anymore. I don’t know why but I feel so lucky as to have found suppliers that can give me the same thing I wanted to DIY within my budget. It’s unbelievable. I managed to find someone to do my personalized wedding favor even cheaper than my DIY budget for the same thing. Yippie! As mentioned before, I will reveal all vendors I’ve used for my wedding project.

Wedding favor – checked; Wine – checked; Grooms men attire – checked; next -> songs for wedding band to play, calling guests, invitation cards, bridesmaids dresses, in-law clothes, choose my wedding gown, home decos.

Why does it feel like there’s still a lot to do? Due to certain unfortunate death in family, my friend planned her wedding within a week’s time and she pulled it off ok. I told her there are pros and cons. The cons obviously is that her wedding ain’t that organized and she cannot choose good restaurants/hotels. The pros are that guests would understand, guests would pay more for ang pow and she saved a lot of money omitting many things like invitation cards, wedding favors, wedding deco etc etc.

I’ve put in quite some effort to find the things I really want. I’m a bit of a perfectionist, you see. Really hope everything turns out like I’ve planned.